A Google ads. & Bums on Table Rant
using some Shakespearean insults “plus”
My pale head having small thought for insults.
But I who wretchedly day by day in April
act upon prompts; am prompted to rant.
I must tell you friendly in your ear,
sell when you can, you are not for all markets.
Even as I search, Google advertisements assault
at every turn.
I scorn you, scurvy companion.
And on through my search Google ads., I tell you:
There’s no more faith in thee than a stewed prune.
Now that was a strange insult because I’ve never
lost faith in a stewed prune to move things along:
if you get my drift.
Google ads: you are like unto bums on a table;
and that, in my country, is an insult. More so
than Shakespearean insults a step further by
uttering the supreme insult thus. Pokokohau ma.
A literal “cooked heads.”
But that last curse I will leave for politicians.
I heard one pronounce this insult such
a short time ago. Both Maori, they know
the full extent of their insult exchange.
I’m not sure the matter was settled. An
hundred and forty years ago they’d have
bought on the war parties.
Benita H. Kape (c) 204.2021
Notes:
Insults to Maori (New Zealanders) =Bums on tables and pokokohau ma
“And last but not least, our prompt (optional, as always). Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a humorous rant. In this poem, you may excoriate to your heart’s content all the things that get on your nerves. Perhaps it’s people who tailgate when driving, or don’t put the caps back on pens after they use them. Or the raccoons who get into your garbage cans. For inspiration, perhaps you might look to this list of Shakespearean insults. Or, for all of you who grew up on cartoons from the 1980s, perhaps this compendium of Skeletor’s Best Insults might provide some insight.”
benitakape 